


And A Star To Steer Her By

by Ceredwen



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Community: rs_career_fest, M/M, Oneshot, Pirates, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-04
Updated: 2010-09-04
Packaged: 2017-10-11 11:17:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/111836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceredwen/pseuds/Ceredwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which James and Sirius are pirates, Lily runs a brothel, Peter is a sailor, and Remus is a lot of things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And A Star To Steer Her By

–––––––  
_  
I must down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,  
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,  
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking,  
And a grey mist on the sea's face, and a grey dawn breaking._

I must down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide  
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;  
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,  
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea–gulls crying.

I must down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,  
To the gull's way and the whale's way where the wind's like a whetted knife;  
And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow–rover  
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over.

“Sea–Fever” by John Masefield

–––––––

“No, I won’t allow it – the boy is only ten.”

Remus was in the garden with his mother when angry voices reached them. He stood up and looked over the fence to the porch where his father and a man dressed in the uniform of a naval officer argued. Standing to the rear of the officer were three other men, also in uniform, positioned stiffly beside a large carriage.

“You should have thought about that before you–”

“Please,” said his father. The desperation in his voice made the hair on Remus’ neck stand on end. “Remus is my only son.”

“Remus,” came his mother’s voice, quiet and urgent in his ear. “Remus, run, off to the woods with you, go now!”

“Mother, what is it?”

“Remus, there is no time for explanations. Do as you’re told.”

Remus looked back at his father on the porch and then up to his mother. She gave him a small shove towards the forest that bordered their farmstead.

“There he is!”

Too frightened to look back at his pursuers, Remus ran for all he was worth. The darkness of the forest, usually forbidding and frightening, looked a welcome haven as he tried to make for its shelter.

“Do not let him get away!”

Heavy feet pounded behind him, closer and closer, gaining on him. If only he could make it to the edge of the forest, just to the edge. Once inside there were dozens of places his small body could hide.

“Run! Run! Run!”

It was the sound of the shot that turned his head, slowed him just that little bit. But it was seeing his father sink to his knees that tripped his feet. His mother’s screams were in his ears as a heavy body fell over him, grasping and pulling his arms behind his back.

“That is what happens when you cross Admiral Greyback,” said a voice in his ear, the sound a curling growl, carried on breath that stank of rotted meat.

There was another shot and his mother’s screams were silenced. Remus was pulled roughly to his feet, something blunt pushing hard into his back. As he neared the house he caught sight of her body in the garden. Without thinking, he ran forward and fell beside her.

“Get him up!”

Remus, clinging to his mother‘s corpse, was wrenched up once again and roughly pulled off.

“Here, give him to me. Clean this mess up. We cannot have been here.”

Remus was thrust toward his parents’ murderer. The man caught his arm and yanked hard, pulling Remus close enough to smell the tobacco and whiskey on his breath.

“Never forget this, boy,” he said. “This is what happens when you cross an officer in the British Navy.” Remus couldn’t speak, paralyzed by fear and grief. He looked up into the grizzled, lupine features of his captor and nodded.

The admiral pulled open the door to the carriage and shoved Remus in. He scrambled across the coach‘s wide flat seat to the other side, burrowing himself into the farthest corner, willing himself not to cry, not to give this man the satisfaction of seeing his weakness. Before following Remus in, the admiral barked out orders to his men, demanding they liven their steps. Remus, terrified and alone, tried not to think about what the men were doing.

When the task was completed, the other officers followed their commander into the coach, their rough voices and foul stench foreign to Remus who had only known love and happiness, a clean home and gentle treatment. As the coach took off, Remus tried to block out their taunts and jeers, watching out the window as the farmstead grew smaller and smaller with distance.

He was never again to see his childhood home.

  
_Ten years later…_

  
"You think what you like, but I say the admiral has lost favor with the King. It is dangerous, what he does, and now something has gone horribly wrong, we all know it. His carelessness will see every one of us hanging from the gallows. We are not on course; not keeping to schedule. If there was an official change of our orders we would know _something_! We are not supposed to be in these waters. The Crown keeps those dogs on a leash to deal with the Spanish so that they can officially-"

"Keep your bloody voice down! I am not meeting with the lash again for your wagging tongue."

"The Lieutenant is correct, I fear. We are headed for trouble, every one of us, and make no mistake."

"What do you suggest we do? Mutiny? Hanging would be a mercy compared to what he would do to us."

The furtive, whispered conversation floated up to Remus, knuckles white and fingers gripping tight on the rigging to which he clung, willing himself still and silent. It would be dangerous for him to get caught trying to cover his shoddy workmanship. His only hope lay in silence and the cloaking darkness. It had been his duty to make repairs in the sail, but fear and shaking hands do not make for clever fingers. He had noticed the mistake, obsessive in his checking and rechecking to avoid the lash, which was why he was currently stuck half–way up the mast of the middle sail. It was only a minor error in his patching, but would draw attention from the admiral whose sharp eyes never missed a single fault, and never wasted an opportunity to make an example.

The atmosphere aboard the _Loup Garou_ did not encourage camaraderie among the crew. Spying on your brother, reporting on his failings so that he, not you, fell to the lash, prevented anything like friendship growing between crewmembers. Only one young man close to Remus’ own age, Peter Pettigrew, was someone Remus thought of as a friend. But even so, the distrust bred onboard prevented them from becoming anymore than casually friendly. It was something, however, and Remus, lonely and much abused, clung to it, meager though it was.

The nature of the conversation unfolding below him was hardly a rarity of late, though this was the first time he had overheard officers engaged in what he would have normally chalked up to galley gossip. It was true enough that the crew had been mumbling for months, the cruelty of the admiral becoming ever harsher. That, in and of itself, was hardly more than what he was accustomed to. It was the darker, quieter, more careful whisperings that were troubling. These officers had gathered in the dead of night to whisper about goings on with only one or two crewman on deck to observe them. They had positioned themselves carefully, with only Remus in a position to hear, and only because he was somewhere he was not supposed to be.

They scarcely dared to name their fear; the admiral's obsession with pressing young boys into His Majesty's service, too young by all accounts and the decree of law. It was clear to Remus that these young officers feared the admiral and his crew had caught the Court's attention.

He did not think on his own experience very often, the home and life of an innocent farm boy left behind because the fates were cruel and the admiral crueler still. In the first few years, only a handful had joined his ranks, their rights and humanity stripped away and forced into a life that was barbaric at best. Some died, usually soon after coming onboard. Those that did not, like Remus, sometimes wished they had. It was a monstrous existence – the brutality and harsh living conditions aboard the _Loup Garou_. That was, of course, not the frigate’s actual name, but it was what the admiral preferred, using his own moniker for the hulking gunship.

In recent years, however, the last six months in particular, the number of young boys had tripled. There could be no explanation that would make sense to any reasonable man, though Remus had his suspicions. His own father, he had learned from the gloating beast of a man, had done the admiral an offence. What offence, Remus never learned, but he suspected the story played out much the same over and over in these sad, little lives.

Then, a month ago, the admiral and his senior officers, all of whom were loyal and well treated, had returned to the ship with another young boy, but on this occasion it was clear something had gone terribly young. The boy, Remus had noted on the one glimpse he had caught, was a beautiful young man. Older than most of the others usually taken, his aristocratic features and dark ebony locks were striking and out of place with the extensive wounds, evident from the blood leaking through his rich clothes.

For all that he was pretty, he was not strong, or too badly injured, and had passed shortly after arriving on board. Since then, they had set sail for the warm waters of the Caribbean, which, as far as every member of the crew was aware, had been deemed off limits to His Majesty's fleet. Rations had begun to run low and even spoil, tempers were on the rise, and the control the admiral usually enjoyed had been slipping from his grasp.

There was a noise, just then, as Remus swung and the officers fretted. A crewman – Remus couldn’t him identify from this distance – had come up to relieve the current watch. A moment later the bell rang and it was apparently more than the nervous officers could tolerate. They left, each going in a separate direction, all eventually finding their way back down to quarters. Once he was sure he was alone, Remus completed his work and scurried back down and to bed.

*

The following morning was met with a dense fog that had rolled in across the eerily still waters. Remus had never quite turned into a fine sailor, rather he had turned into a sailor who was good at keeping his head down, good at not getting noticed. The only thing he was any good at was reading their position, feeling the current that fought against the sails for control of the ship. Remus always knew their position from the physical clues in the ship and the stars in the heavens, even though navigation and steering were the arts of an officer, not a lowly ship hand that couldn’t even patch a sail without error. The fog spooked some of the other crew, whispering nonsense about it being a “devil’s cloak” and old superstitions about sailing off the end of the world.

One of Remus’ pleasures from another life had been reading. He had once loved adventure stories about men like Columbus who had believed the world was round. His father had owned one much revered map of the known world that he would occasionally take out and let his dreamer son fawn over. Those dreams were all dead now, and Remus had since learned that much of that map was hopelessly dated. That hadn’t stopped him from learning to correctly guess the ship’s position. He had listened carefully to the officers, and while he might be an utter sailing misery in most other respects, Remus knew navigation.

Not that this helped him any. It was mostly something he learned for its own sake to occupy his keen and curious mind and make life a little more bearable. The fact was, he was horrible at what was expected of him. As a result he had found other ways, other things he was good at, to offset his rather obvious lack in the sailing arts. It was a quiet and clandestine thing, a thing that was never discussed, only conducted in secret and then forgotten until it was time to do it again. Growing up around men, having nothing but men for company, Remus had discovered he had a taste for them.

The other men were not so inclined, but months, sometimes years at sea, years away from women, they had learned to make do. Remus had learned that even though most of them did so, not one of them wanted the others to know about it. This then, became his leverage, kept him safe. He never thought about it, never focused on what it was for them, which was nothing more than a release. If he had, he would have felt shameful and dirty. He knew what the scriptures had to say on the subject, knew that the ships chaplain would have seen him punished for his iniquity, but Remus was quiet, and the men were quiet, and in exchange, his mistakes were covered for him when possible.

So that morning, the world had awoken to a quiet sea covered in thick, gloomy fog, and Remus was buying a little insurance on his knees. The _Loup Garou_ had a multitude of dark, quiet spaces and in such a space, with a cock pressing into the back of his throat, the warning bells started to clang just as his throat filled with semen.

Both he and the other sailor stilled, and Remus had to concentrate not to bite down in his shock. He swallowed the last remnants in his mouth as they rushed to straighten themselves, neither looking at each other.

When Remus emerged on deck, the fog had not yet lifted but the sea was still calm and there was trouble. Surrounding the _Loup Garou_ was a fleet of sloops, the swift, maneuverable craft he had heard were preferred by pirates. Though light in their construction, the sloops were not without guns, and all doors were opened, cannons bared like dogs showing their teeth. It was a siege and Remus felt a wave of panic the likes of which he hadn’t experienced since he was ten years old.

Every ship surrounding them had colors raised, each a variation on the skull with crossed bones, communicating that surrender would be accepted. All of them but one, that is, the ship closest to the _Loup Garou_. That ship had a field of pure red blowing lightly on the wind – no quarter.

On the deck of each pirate craft stood approximately three dozen men, each dressed differently, though a variation on a theme. Most were clad similarly to himself; canvas doublets in varying dull shades of dirty over linen shirts, breeches ragged at the hem, and motley–hued knitted caps, the typical dress of those press ganged into naval service. Some, like himself, also wore stockings, and shoes, though most were barefoot. Unlike Remus, they each had a sword, drawn and at the ready.

Had these men also been taken from their homes and then escaped to become pirates? Remus couldn’t think of anything bleaker. He hadn’t touched dry land in more than five years. If he ever got out of service, he would never again set foot on a craft of any variety. His early fascination with adventure had been all but stamped out in servitude to the admiral.

Not all of them were so plainly clad in slops, though. There were a few very notable exceptions. One in particular, a towering, grinning, black–haired beauty of a man, standing proudly on the deck of the ship with the red flag, was dressed so flamboyantly that the only word that came to mind was peacock. Remus had seen one once – a peacock, the bird itself – while providing safe passage for a merchant ship running a route between England and India. The poor thing had escaped the hold and fluttered aboard the deck of the merchant ship, its call eerily reminiscent of a child crying.

“Ahoy, there,” called out the peacock pirate. “Beautiful morning for it.”

There was a rumble of mirthless laughter from the surrounding ships. The peacock stepped closer to the railing and jumped onto a barrel, his high–booted feet landing with a thud, a length of rope that was tied to the mast in one hand.

Remus had never seen someone so colorful in all his life, and yet, despite that, the man exuded a power and an authority that literally caught the breath in his throat. From the three–cornered hat on his head, quivered an enormous red ostrich feather, his every move caused it to dance and sway. His waistcoat and sash were a match for the feather, bright red, a color reserved for upper classes. It wasn’t difficult to believe that this man was aristocracy, and even more surprising was the resemblance he bore to the young man who had died on board only a month prior.

Admiral Greyback stepped forward, a deep scowl marring his already unpleasant features. This only seemed to make the peacock grin all the more.

“Stand down,” snarled Greyback. “You are halting the business of a ship in His Majesty’s service.”

“Yeah, about that,” said another voice, this one from behind Remus. He turned, along with every other member of the crew. The speaker was another one of the more elaborately dressed pirates, also in fine materials and deep reds. “You see, _His Majesty_ doesn’t actually want his ship harmed. I’m sure you can see the position this puts us in.”

“What my esteemed colleague Captain Potter is trying to say, is that the problem here isn’t so much with the ship as it is with you.”

“This is preposterous!” spluttered the admiral. “I am an admiral in His Majesty’s service!”

“Were,” said the peacock, his words clipped and exact. “The word you are looking for is were.”

“What this means for the rest of you, is that if you surrender peacefully, you will be given safe passage to Port Royal,” said yet another voice from a different ship. This one stumped forward on a wooden leg, and was the most grizzled looking sight Remus had ever seen. The man wore a patch over one eye, more of that high–class red, and a piece of his nose was missing.

“From there you will be sorted, and if possible, returned to your families.” The man was tall and African, dressed in clothes that Remus had never seen, the beautiful patterns intriguing. He came up behind the patch–eyed pirate and lay a large, dark hand on his shoulder.

“But as for you,” said the peacock, addressing the admiral. “You will not be quite so lucky. Been a naughty boy, haven’t you Greyback? Stealing children and forcing them to work on your dinghy. Pressing men to serve you is bad enough, but the law is clear – no one under the age of fifteen and absolutely no one in the aristocracy. Which reminds me, you have something that belongs to me, and I’ll be taking it back. Now.”

“Of yours?” The admiral stepped back, and Remus swore that the man had lost two whole shades of color.

“My brother,” said the peacock. “The young man you took before you unwisely set sail for these waters.”

“Oh, god,” said Remus. He hadn’t meant to, but it was horrific to learn this way. In the past moments, his mind had been changing about pirates. He’d not known some worked in the service of the Crown. For his utterance, the admiral, likely scared for more than just his life, strode toward Remus and struck him down with a blow to the jaw.

The peacock used the distraction to swing across on the rope and board the ship. Remus looked up in time to see him press the muzzle of a pistol to the admiral’s forehead and cock the trigger.

“Where. Is. My. Brother.”

There was silence on the deck. Not a single member of the crew moved to help the admiral, but none seemed willing to tell him what happened to his brother either.

“I’m sorry,” whispered Remus, finally, unable to bear the tension any longer. “I’m so sorry.”

Remus recognized the look of anguish, of grief that crossed the peacock’s face. In the next moment it was replaced with a look of such terrifying cruelty that Remus had to look away. No one that beautiful should ever look so ugly.

“You don’t deserve what I’m about to give to you,” said the peacock. Remus was chilled by the deadly calm in his voice, and imagined that the man was fantasizing about many long and drawn out tortures. And then the gun went off and the admiral fell lifeless to the deck of his own ship.

_Merciful_, Remus thought, because he could well understand the desire to make Greyback pay with his flesh. _Too merciful, really_, followed close behind as a day some ten years prior came flooding back. A day when everything changed, and life as he knew it was effectively at an end.

Before he could rise to his feet, the ship was flooded with pirates swinging over; two men from the other ships lifted him up and then shoved him against the railing of the _Loup Garou_, a long curved knife held against his throat. Remus wondered about the words guaranteeing safety that had been spoken, and whether that was just a pirate’s lie.

He wasn’t the only one subdued. Every one of his fellow crewmen had a pair of pirates on them. The peacock strolled onto the center of the deck in the midst of the flurry of movement. Out of his red waistcoat, he withdrew a letter, unrolled it, and held it high.

“I am Sirius Black, Captain of the _Silver Veil_, and a privateer in His Majesty’s service. If you come peacefully, you will not be harmed. In my hand is a letter from the King himself ordering the execution at sea of this bilge–sucking filth. I am required to request a member of the _Phoenix Rising_ to read this aloud to the crew. Does any one of you know your letters?”

It took Remus a whole minute to realize that Captain Black was referring to the christened name of the _Loup Garou_, so long had it been since he had heard it.

“I do, I read,” said First Mate Rosier.

Captain Potter, his own sword currently pressed to Rosier’s neck, laughed at the idea.

“Captain Black, I suggest we ask for one who is not a senior officer to step forward.”

“Do you think it likely there is a crewman who can read?” asked Captain Black, swaggering around on the deck of the ship as though it were his.

Remus cleared his throat. “I read, or did, when I was a boy.”

Captain Black turned to him, giving him a careful once over, and then stepped closer.

“How old were you when they took you?” he asked quietly.

A terrible heat flooded Remus’ face as he realized it was his clothes that gave his status away. He felt horribly exposed that Black could see so easily into his past.

“I was ten,” he replied, looking anywhere other than Black’s face.

“Release him,” said Captain Black to the two men holding Remus. They immediately stepped away, freeing his wrists from their tight grip, and his throat from the too–close blade. The captain took a step closer, and regarded Remus with a quiet solemnity. “I’m sorry for that; this monster should never have touched any of you.”

Remus was caught off guard by the sincerity and the change in the captain’s demeanor. It was awkward having the man this close. The word beautiful was far too pale a descriptor.

“The letter,” he blurted, holding his hand out.

“Of course.” The letter was pressed into his hand and then the captain stepped away. Irrationally, Remus wanted to pull him back. It was too late, and they were too exposed, not to mention he had no idea how this man would respond. While Remus unrolled the letter, Captain Black addressed the crew, ordering them to listen to His Majesty’s edict.

It had been many years since Remus had seen the printed word. So he began, haltingly at first, those few words he remembered coming easily, those he had forgotten much slower. The effort of reading, of remembering how to read, brought back memories of lessons with his mother. He struggled with those memories, now bittersweet, and lessons of consonants and vowels and sounding words out. His first few sentences, spoken with a shaky voice, came slow and labored.

Then, quite unexpectedly, it all clicked into place, like turning a key in a lock and opening a door. His voice grew louder and clearer with confidence. As Remus read to the crew, he learned that Regulus Black, the boy who had died, was a cousin to the King. Taking him had been considered an act of treason, punishable by death. Rumors of Greyback’s activities had been ongoing for years, but he had not been caught in the act until now. The King promised safe passage for those who wished to return to England, and that the Crown would do all it could to reunite families.

“You’re nobility,” he said to Captain Black, stunned with this piece of information.

“At least I’m not heir to the Crown,” came the response with a grin, then added louder, “And just how much do I care about all that, lads?”

There was a round of laughter with a few colorful phrases thrown in for good measure. The captain gave Remus a smile and stepped closer once again.

“My father was the Earl of Suffolk, a title that now falls to me, but what could lure me back to dry land when I have all of the sea to explore?”

“Of course, sir,” said Remus respectfully, but without the captain’s enthusiasm. “I suppose some would think so.”

Disbelief clouded the captain’s face for a moment, and then he turned away from Remus to his co–conspirator Captain Potter. “We’re three days sailing from Port Royal. We need to check their hold, see to their supplies. The whole lot of them look to be underfed.”

“I wouldn’t bother checking,” murmured Remus. “What is left is full of maggots. We only eat once a day, and only at night so we don’t have to see what we put in our mouths.”

“The sea,” said Captain Black, turning back to Remus, “she’s a hard mistress, but she offers freedom and a life you could never have anywhere else.”

“There was a time I might have agreed,” said Remus quietly, “but I‘ve long since abandoned such romantic notions.”

Captain Black looked like there was something he wanted to say, his lips parted and he made a small sound, eyes apologetic. Then he abruptly turned and started barking orders to get food from the other ships brought over.

*

That night Remus ate better than he had in months. Wine and bread and fresh turtle flesh among his fellow crew mates. The ship was effectively taken over and run by a pirate crew, the senior officers taken to the brig and held under arrest for trial in England.

In his bunk, as the crew settled in the first night of the voyage, he learned that the fog had concealed the pirate ships until it was too late. They had virtually materialized out of nothing which led some of the more superstitious members of the crew to wonder if the pirates practiced black magic or voodoo as detailed in many of the legends.

All Remus could think about as the ship groaned and swayed as she sailed along was that soon he would be on dry land, the earth firmly under his feet. His future was the definition of uncertain, with nothing to return home for. No home, no farm, no family.

The last images in his mind before his consciousness darkened and sleep pulled him under were of the enigmatic Captain Black, standing close, eyes sincere; handsome, strong and sympathetic. A strange warmth Remus hadn’t known in his life held him the whole the night through.

*

A steady wind, warm and thick, blew down across sea, turning the ship on her anchor and waking Remus with the dawn. Breakfast consisted of leftover bread and thinned wine. When he crawled above deck, the borrowed sailors from the other ships were weighing anchor and taking their orders from Captain Black, now back aboard his own ship.

The captain was no longer in his garb from the day before, no red feathers to mark him as a man who enjoyed being noticed. On this morning he donned a simple tunic, open to bare his chest and breeches with no shoes. He wore a wide smile and joked with the men on his ship, while keeping a sharp eye on the business of getting underway.

The crew of the _Loup Garou_ were given menial tasks that resulted in grumbling over being treated as scullery maids. Remus kept his own mouth quiet and went about with his orders. But as the sun rose higher in the sky, the grumbling got louder which eventually broke out into a fight. Both Captains Black and Potter swung over with additional men, though neither of them seemed surprised or overly concerned by this turn of events. Captain Black in particular seemed amused and took the opportunity to address the crew once the squabble was put to rest.

“These waters close to the islands are treacherous, lads; by noon we’ll be following the coast and you’ll be glad you’ve old salts to guide her through. We know you’re good seamen, and those of you not in His Majesty’s service will be invited to stay on, go on the account. Pay close attention, learn these cays and shoals, listen to what my men tell you about these waters. There’s no call to fight over it, but if you just want to, I suggest saving it for the _Stag and Doe_ in Port Royal!”

There was a rumble of laughter from most of the pirates, but Captain Potter took mock offence, swaggering over to Captain Black.

“You’re encouraging a bunch of pent up royal sea dogs to tear up me lass’s pub?” he joked, his good natured grin belying any actual malice.

“I’m encouraging a bunch of pent up royal sea dogs to save their energy for Port Royal, wet their willies, drink too much grog and put more into the coffers of that viperous wench of yours!” replied Black, matching Potter’s grin and tone.

Potter’s smile didn’t flicker as he drew his sword. “Say that again,” he challenged, but it was clear there was no heat to it.

“What?” asked Black, all innocence as he drew his own. “Viperous wench?”

Potter gave no indication that he was going to strike, offered no polite warnings, he simply moved. Black was ready for it though and silver flashed through the air before the sound of metal meeting metal rent the air. Both wore wide smiles, eyes flashing with mirth. Remus looked around him to find the pirates watched on with amusement, giving the two captains a wide berth, though the crew of his own ship, himself included, were unquestionably surprised.

Remus found he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the two men and was grateful he wasn’t the only one gawking. Black was glorious, strong and lithe, possessing a grace a man his size shouldn’t. The fight was clearly more a test of strength and for the sheer exuberance of using their bodies. They chased each other around the deck; first one would have the advantage, and then the other. They fought atop barrels and swung from ropes, their swords clashing as they chased each other up stairs and then down.

When Potter put a rip in Black’s shirt, Remus thought he might kiss the man because Black proceeded to tear it off. If Remus had thought Black was attractive before, seeing his tanned, toned chest and arms on full display erased any doubt. The two seemed oblivious to the crew in their play, and soon even the men on the _Loup Garou_ no longer cared, turning away to complete their tasks, which went unnoticed by Remus until he was nudged lightly in the ribs.

“What?” he snapped, turning to glare at the interrupter. Peter blinked at Remus and then his eyes narrowed into a shrewd appraisal.

“You were staring at Captain Black,” said Peter. “With your mouth hanging open.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Remus, turning back to his task. He could feel the flush of embarrassment crawl up his neck and into his face.

“I thought,” began Peter loudly, then dropped his tone. “I thought that business with the men, I thought that was just – but you actually _fancy_ blokes. You prefer men!”

Remus shoved Peter roughly into a barrel, bringing his face close to the other man’s. “Never say that again!”

“What’s going on here?” asked Captain Potter. His chest was heaving from exertion as he pulled the men apart and looked at each of them in turn. Black stood a pace behind, waiting with his sword still drawn.

“Nothing,” said Remus quickly. “It was nothing, Captain. Just a mild disagreement between friends.”

“Yes,” agreed Peter. “Nothing; it was nothing.” Potter looked between them once more and then shrugged. He turned to Black and the two put their heads together and then began moving among the crew.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, though neither captain returned to his ship. The two captains spent the day talking to the men, getting to know them, asking them questions about themselves. Remus did his best to avoid Black who made his head dizzy to be around.

He had accepted that he preferred men, though he only had a few examples of women to compare it to. It was something else entirely to have this known and generally accepted. It was also something new in his experience to find a person to be so utterly distracting. He tried to keep his thoughts from straying into areas that were likely forbidden. The man was nobility and a pirate, two things that would keep him from ever having a serious interest in a farm boy who hated the sea. Besides, men like Remus surely ended up alone. In some ways he was glad his parents never lived to see what their son had become.

By the end of the day he was exhausted from having to try and seem unaffected. He knew that the captains had asked after his whereabouts so after dinner he crawled up to the crow’s nest and offered to take over the watch.

He was up there an hour, just watching the other ships, the clouds, the sea. He noticed something on the deck of one of the other ships, and that was the stump–legged captain and the tall African kissing, openly and without shame. It was nothing lewd or overdone, but it clearly wasn’t a secret or something they thought of as shameful. He let himself think about kissing Captain Black – actually _kissing_, something he had never done.

All of his interchanges with others had been quick and dirty, a suck or a wank or just rubbing together until the other came. They never reciprocated. He was always left hard and needy, taking care of himself once they had left him. But then, what he was guaranteeing didn’t really leave room for something reciprocal.

So he let himself wonder what it would be like to kiss, to feel the other’s mouth against his own, to run his hands through that glorious black mane. He knew it would never happen, but it was a lovely fantasy.

Another hour passed much the same, observing and fantasizing, passing the time until his eyes began to droop. He must have dropped off because someone was tapping his shoulder, ruining a perfectly good dream about Captain Black’s lips on his, tongue in his mouth and a hand that trailed down to–

“Captain Black,” said Remus muzzily, blinking rapidly and trying to appear as though he hadn’t been asleep.

“Well, I see what I’ve heard about you is true,” said the captain. “You’re a lousy sailor.”

Sleep clung stubbornly and Remus had to blink a few more times until his mind cleared enough for him to absorb the accusation. He pressed back against the wood of the crow’s nest, fearful he was about to face some horrible punishment for his carelessness. Captain Black was within his rights to be furious with Remus, but he just seemed amused.

“It’s been a long day,” said Remus after a moment. It was a terrible excuse for such an offence, but he feared what a lie would get him.

“Tired, hm,” said Black, and Remus could see his mouth tilt to a smirk as he spoke. “A whole day of swabbing an already pristine deck, checking for holes in sails that have none, and mending rope that doesn’t need it. Yes, I can see how that would be exhausting.”

There were too many years under the lash, under the oppression of a tyrannical leader for Remus to tell the enigmatic captain to kindly bugger off. That he jested was obvious – why remained elusive. He also couldn’t tell the captain that just being this close to him was testing his resolve not to kiss the man, and that he was tired, exhausted, from battling his reaction the whole damn day.

“Sir,” said Remus, having nothing else to offer.

“You, Mr. Lupin, have been carefully avoiding myself and Captain Potter today, and I think I know why.”

If he was including Potter in that statement, Remus knew bloody well the man didn’t have the first clue.

“And what conclusion did you reach, sir?”

“By all accounts you are a singularly ungifted sailing man. When we couldn’t find you to speak with, we asked around and heard the same thing over and over.”

Remus looked out to the ocean, to the gibbous moon and the silvery light it spilled on dark water. “I think it difficult to excel at what you hate,” he replied finally. “I lost everything, Captain; my home, my family, even myself – some days I don’t know who I am anymore.”

Instead of offering him a pithy reply, or spouting useless platitudes about how it would work out in the end, or even worse, chin up and all of that, the captain watched the moon with Remus, claiming a moment of quiet solidarity. The silence stretched between the two of them, the only sound that of the ship’s soft groans and the waves lapping at her sides. Remus closed his eyes and listened to the sound of Black breathing beside him, and just concentrated on the miracle of his own heart thrumming in his chest.

“What will I do now?” asked Remus, the question more for him than for the captain. “I have nowhere to turn, nothing to return to, and I’ve no desire to stay aboard a ship.”

“There is a woman in Port Royal,” replied Black. “Her name is Lily Evans, she runs the _Stag and Doe_. Maybe she can help you.”

“The _Stag and Doe_,” repeated Remus. “Isn’t that the pub you mentioned?”

“Aye, her man is Captain Potter. She’s a good woman and she’s connected to all manner of folk through her establishment. She’ll know who’s looking to hire.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re the only one we couldn’t sort,” said Black. “When we reach port, there’s a frigate come to escort the _Phoenix Rising_ home. You’re welcome to return, but life might be better for you among these islands. It’s a good place to come and forget.”

“Did you come to forget?” asked Remus.

Black’s open expression battened down immediately and Remus felt awful and intrusive when the man had only tried to help and hadn’t pushed him to open up even once. “Sorry, never mind,” he added quickly. Remus cast about wildly for a new topic and then, because he was nervous and because his traitorous mind clung dangerously to thoughts of kissing this man, he blurted, “Let me change the subject and ask you a question. Earlier this evening I saw something curious on one of the other ships. Two men kissed each other openly on deck and none of the men seemed surprised.”

Black relaxed immediately, recovering from the question about himself and gave Remus a small nod. “That would be Moody and Shacklebolt. It’s strange to me, this custom from Tortuga. That’s where they hail; they call it ‘mateloge’ and as far as I can tell it’s nearly the same as marriage.”

“And so they really are together?” asked Remus. “I mean, two men, and no one cares?” It was a liberating thought, that among these rough brigands they would accept something that was so foreign to most civilized men.

“Do you care?” asked Black stiffly. “They’re good men, Mr. Lupin.”

“What? No, I mean, no, it’s that, well, it’s that–” but Remus couldn’t finish his thought.

Black stared at him for a moment, expectantly, waiting for him to continue until a look of comprehension crossed his face. He relaxed again and took a deep breath. “I’d never seen two men kiss before, be affectionate with each other.” He paused and looked back at the moon for a moment. Remus thought he might be done and that he needed to say something, but then Black added quietly, “I’d known I had a taste for both, but… well, I’m a captain. I don’t think my crew would understand – there was a bit of grumbling at first, that the majority had voted to let ‘the sodomites’ join us.”

Remus sensed it was his turn to let Black talk; he could well understand the relief in finding someone like himself, someone else who fancied men, so he stayed quiet and gave the other an encouraging smile and let him collect his thoughts.

“It looks very nice, you know, kissing another man,” Sirius continued. “An equal. Not like a whore who does it for pay – however convincing Lily’s girls may be, they are still in it for the gold. No proper woman would be interested in the likes of us; oh, but to have someone, to share quarters with, to share adventures on the sea with.”

And here Remus’ heart, which had been beating out an ever increasing rhythm, suddenly stopped. It wasn’t he Black was thinking of, but someone to sail with him, a fellow pirate.

“Did you hear what I asked?” said Black, giving his shoulder a tap. “Hey, are you alright?”

“Sorry, just tired. What did you ask?”

“Have you ever kissed a man?” said Sirius, repeating the question he had asked while Remus’ heart was quietly breaking.

“No. I’ve done plenty else, but never kissed,” he replied, and then added morosely, “It does look very nice.”

“Yeah, we heard about that, too.“ Remus was mortified, but he didn’t have long to focus on that. Black cocked his head at Remus, a look of pure, inquisitive wonder on his face. As he leaned in, Remus realized what he was about to do and was shocked at the other man’s boldness, not that he was going to stop him.

“Captain,” breathed Remus, his pulse pounding in his ear. Black’s eyes darted to Remus’ lips and then up to his eyes.

“Sirius,” said the captain, and then, “I just want to know; there’s no harm in it.”

Remus could name quite a few harms, namely the damage that would be done to his poor, reckless heart that fluttered in his chest like a caged bird. How had he fallen so fast for this courageous man, tempting him with his daydreams turned real.

The man was a beautiful, wonderful mess – nobility turned pirate with a taste for men. A taste he didn’t believe he should indulge in because his men might choose to follow someone else as captain. The man was a sanctioned outlaw who had exacted the very revenge Remus had wanted for years, and it was all just so tempting and alluring. In two swift, terrifying days, this man had turned his world inside out, and now he was leaning in for a kiss, and worse, he wasn’t making promises, quite the opposite. He was more trouble than Remus needed and nothing he could refuse.

“Sirius,” said Remus, and it was like a name he should have always known, rolling easily off his tongue.

Apparently, that was all the encouragement Black needed. At first, it was just an innocent press of one mouth to another, tentative and deeply unsure. Even so, Sirius’ lightly chapped lips were wonderfully warm and soft; the crow’s nest rocked back as Remus pressed against Sirius, hands on the other’s neck to hold him steady. He didn’t know what he was doing, having never kissed before, so he just pressed harder and tried not to let Sirius get away, convenient that there was nowhere to go in such a small space. If this was all he would ever get, he was going to make the most of it.

For a moment there was tension in every muscle of Sirius’ body as Remus tried to take control. When it snapped, Remus found himself roughly shoved the other way, the ropes that held the crow’s nest aloft squeaking in agitation.

Sirius kissed the way Remus imagined he would. His mouth was plundered and no quarter given as Sirius’ tongue burned hot and needy and wonderful. Remus let his fingers drop from Sirius’ neck to feel the broad expanse of muscle in the man’s shoulders, then down over wide blades, strong back and ribs. His fingers curled into Sirius’ breeches, pulling him hard against Remus’ body. They rocked together, sliding against one another, bodies mimicking their tongues, until they were fully entwined, a lovely, heady tangle of limbs, grinding hard together through the kiss.

“Oh, merciful Poseidon,” said Sirius, unsteady, trembling, drawing back to breath.

“Sirius,” said Remus carefully, soothing, “It’s all right; look, you’re hard, let me take care of that for you –”

"No, no; I'm fine," said Sirius stiffly, straightening up, attempting to assume his captaincy once more, though the shaking in his hands betrayed him. "Thank you, Mr. Lupin. Good evening."

Remus watched him leave, a hole opening in his heart and swallowing him up.

*

That night in quarters, Remus listened as Peter filled him in on his invitation to join Captain Potter’s crew. After his run in with Remus earlier that day, he’d fallen in with a couple of blokes who served aboard the _Midnight Marauder_. They’d recommended him and the rest of the crew had agreed.

“And James, that’s his name, Captain Potter – he told me to call him _James_, Remus! Anyway, his is the fastest in the fleet – did you know there were twenty–three ships in all? They only sent six to deal with the admiral, and apparently they’d been tracking us for days, staying just beyond the horizon–”

Remus put on an interested face as Peter prattled on, smiling and nodding and throwing him the occasional “mhm,” but his thoughts were far from his bunk mate’s future. The kiss he and Sirius had shared, the feel of their bodies pressed together, of being _wanted_ by someone, or so he had thought.

“–and they’re rich, Remus! Completely stinking, filthy rich and it is all approved by the Crown, something called Letters of Marque–”

With all the various men he had serviced, and he really couldn’t give it a higher recommendation than that, he had never felt that before, never seen that look of lust in a man’s eyes and had it directed at him. The others always closed theirs so they wouldn’t have to see him, acknowledge that it was a man’s mouth or hand. A few had even called out a woman’s name when they came. It could be very dehumanizing, but at least it was better than the lash.

“–there’s also this pub, well, more than a pub really, it’s a boarding house, brothel and tavern all in one. It’s called the _Stag and Doe_ and James bought it for Lily – that’s his girl. He owns it in name but she–”

But Sirius, oh, that had been different. Remus wanted more of that, wanted to see what Sirius looked like when he came, and even more desperately, Remus wanted to know what it was like for someone to make himself come. Well, no, not someone; Sirius.

“–but a lot of the crew sleep on board instead of getting rooms. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I can’t wait to step on board. Did you know that–”

The way he had left, though, so suddenly and abruptly, didn’t really leave much room for Remus to hope. It was so new for him, to feel this way – none of his ship mates had ever affected him like this. Oh, he had found a few attractive enough to enjoy himself, but it was nothing to compare to this. In only two days he’d become entirely smitten with the man.

“–oh, and Port Royal itself, it has everything they said, whatever you want, if you have the gold its, oh! I almost forgot! We’re all getting a stipend from the Crown. It won’t be much, I’m sure, but it will be better than nothing. When we all get to Port Royal we should–”

He could still feel the man’s lips on his, plump, and so demanding. To have it end in such an unsatisfactory way was just further indication of how unfair his life actually was.

“Peter, I think I’m going to sleep now. Tell me more about it tomorrow, yeah?” said Remus, interrupting when Peter took a breath. He didn’t want to think anymore, or feel anymore, he just wanted to sleep and try to forget about this horrible, wonderful night.

“Oh, sure,” said Peter, sounding the slightest bit put off. “Sleep well, then.”

*

On deck the following day there was an atmosphere of jubilant excitement. It was the final day of the voyage to Port Royal, and the pirates sang bawdy songs of wine and women as they worked. They were dressed differently that morning, markedly so, having traded their drab rags for more interesting clothes. Nothing to rival the captains, but their worn out slops had been put aside in favor of clothes that were just a bit fancier.

Sirius was on board his ship but was not his usual jovial self. None of his crew let it affect them, or at least not that Remus could see, and just carried on, working and singing as though their captain had not morphed into a black cloud version of himself.

Just before the midday meal, Sirius disappeared from the deck of his ship. Remus had seen Sirius staring into the horizon but Remus looked away for a moment and when he glanced back, Sirius was gone. Remus waited for Sirius to reappear but when it became obvious he wasn’t returning, Remus went below deck to eat and collect his things.

He didn’t have very many belongings; they consisted of just a few clothes which he folded neatly and put into a burlap bag, a wood handled brush for his hair, and a bottle of solution he used to rinse his mouth with. He had always been one of the more fastidious members of the crew, not that anyone had noticed. It was something he used to keep a hold of his humanity, to remember who he had once been.

Since there wasn’t actually much for him to do on deck, Remus closed his eyes to take a short nap. It had been a stressful few days with more sure to come, so taking advantage of the time to rest seemed wise. Sleep folded him up in strange dreams of walking across a tightrope, at the other end of which was Sirius waving to him. There were dangers below and behind, amorphous, deep–voiced creatures that bellowed his name and reached out with claws of darkness to grab at him. Sirius kept waving him over, happy and expectant, not at all worried that Remus would fall. The tightrope shook unexpectedly, the source unknown and a new voice spoke to him, ‘Mr. Lupin, Mr. Lupin, Mr. Lupin.’

“Mr. Lupin? Mr. Lupin? Wake up, Mr. Lupin.”

Remus opened bleary eyes and grunted. “Captain Potter?”

“Call me James. We’ve made port; an hour ago, actually. I’ve had the ship turned inside out looking for you. Sirius is going spare thinking you fell overboard. Never thought to check the most obvious place of all.” James gave Remus a smile and then sat on the opposite bunk, ducking to avoid hitting his head.

“Remus – call me Remus,” he said, waking slowly as he sat up. “Wait, did you say Sirius was going spare?”

James smiled. “He’s an idiot if he thinks I don’t know what is fueling his current awful mood. He’s being a complete beast. His crew is oblivious to the problem, but, uh, I saw you together, in the crow’s nest, kissing.”

“Oh,” said Remus, and then put his head in hands, saying even more quietly. “Well, fuck.”

That earned him an easy chuckle from James. “I also caught his cowardly retreat. There’s, uh, there’s something I want you to think about, Remus.”

“What’s that?”

“Consider sailing with Sirius,” said James. “He’s not very happy you aren’t staying on.”

“He told you this?”

“Well… not as such, but when you’ve known someone as long as I’ve known Sirius you learn to pick up on things. We’ve been discussing crew placement with the other captains, when your name came up, well, let’s just say Sirius isn’t very accomplished at subtleties. Moody and Shacklebolt are highly amused by this development.”

“I’m sure you know him very well, but you should know he thinks he’d lose the respect of his men,” said Remus, trying to keep the disappointment out of his tone. “And I can’t sail with him – I hate the sea. I never want to be stuck aboard a boat again.”

“As long as he lines their pockets with gold and treats them fairly he’ll have no problems with his crew. I imagine this all has more to do with his upbringing – his father was a hard man, very harsh, very traditional views. As much as he rebelled against all of that I think it must still affect him. But… give him time, because in the end, Sirius always does exactly what he wants to do.”

“I’m still not setting foot aboard another craft after this,” said Remus, pointing out the other obstacle.

“We’ll see,” said James. “How about we get you off a ship first and worry about getting you back aboard one later. I understand I’m to put you in touch with Lily?”

“I didn’t know that you were, but yes, Sirius mentioned her to me.”

“Lily has her finger on the pulse of Port Royal, and there _is_ money to be made.”

“I’d be grateful for anything, really.”

James left him then to collect his things, but what Remus needed was a moment to collect his thoughts. He clutched the burlap sack in his hands and just breathed. Sirius felt something too. Sirius felt enough of something that it changed his mood. That was fantastic and frightening and completely infuriating. If two men together was accepted among his peers for the most part, and his closest friend didn’t care, why wasn’t Sirius kissing Remus right this minute? It was unfair to dangle the carrot so enticingly and then yank it away. Remus held onto this frustration tightly, resolutely ignoring the little voice reminding him that what Sirius wanted was another sailing man.

*

The walk from the ship into Port Royal was surreal, like something from a loud and colorful dream. James escorted Remus from the busy harbor into the even busier town. Men and women lined the streets, a flurry of primary and pastel, like schools of little fish flashing their bright scales in the sunlight. In comparison to all the wealth displayed around him, Remus felt small and low and dirty.

In his pocket burned a small purse, compensation from the Crown given to him by Admiral Dumbledore before he debarked the _Phoenix Rising_. Never again would he allow himself to call it the _Loup Garou_. He hoped to find modest lodging until he could secure enough to feed and house himself. He didn’t have high hopes for making a fortune, but not serving aboard a ship was already an improvement. Though, and this was unexpected, it was disconcerting to feel the world still and solid under his feet.

“Alright there, Remus?” asked James kindly.

“Too much time at sea, I think,” he replied.

Their destination, the _Stag and Doe_, was several blocks in on a noisy street full of other establishments. The hanging shingle featured two deer against a field of green, the words ‘_Stag and Doe_’ arching over, and underneath was written ‘Tavern | Boarding House | Personal Services.’ Remus thought ‘personal services’ was an unusual way to describe prostitution, though it did sum it up, if a bit glorified in his opinion.

“You’ll miss the sea,” said James, with a smugness to his tone that Remus found infuriating.

“I won’t,” he replied, carefully keeping the bite out of his tone.

James laughed warmly and clapped a hand on Remus’ shoulder. “You will! You’ve been on the sea too long not to miss her! You’ll realize one day it was not the sea to blame for what happened and you’ll heed her call. None of us, Remus, can resist her charms.”

It seemed pointless to argue and there was nothing to be gained by irritating a pirate captain so Remus held his tongue. James pushed open the door to the crowded tavern and let Remus slide past him before following inside. A low hum wrapped Remus up in sound, the conversation of many voices reminding him of the way the sea was never silent, even at her calmest.

Along the back wall was a long bar behind which were hundreds of liquor bottles. The bar was crowded with men as were the many tables about which they drank, ate, or played cards. From the other side of the bar flashed a bright pair of eyes and large smile belonging to a redhead who was a true beauty. She waved at James, said a few words to someone, and then hurried over.

“Well, what have we here?” she said with a familiarity she had not earned. “You must be this Remus Lupin I’ve been hearing so much about.”

Remus shot a quick glance at James.

“I have no idea how she does it,” he replied, answering Remus’ silent question. “She’s bloody scary with it sometimes.”

“Oh, hush,” she admonished lightly, and then gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “There’s no real secret, I just talk to a lot of people.”

“What–,” began Remus, but had to swallow down some shame. “What have you heard?”

“Oh, this and that,” she replied airily, then fixed an eye on James. “Why don’t you run along to the Den. Sev went up a minute ago and Sirius was already there.”

“Bloody hell, woman!” snarled James. “Why must you let that bit of filth up there?”

“Because he’s my… friend, and because he spends a lot on my girls. Now go, before someone gets hurt.”

Remus felt a moment of panic as his only contact hurried off to join Sirius. Remus desperately wanted to go with, so much had changed so quickly, and though James was a new entity, he was slightly more familiar than Lily; not to mention that James was going to Sirius’ aide.

“Now then, Remus,” said Lily, getting his attention. “First things first – you need a bath and a change of clothes. Tonight you’re in my care, so all that you need is free of charge. In the morning we can discuss what kind of work you can do so I know who to put you in touch with.”

“I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this,” said Remus earnestly. “You don’t even know me.”

“Mm, but something tells me will get to know one another, Remus,” she said, smiling as she placed her hand on his arm. “So, for now, let me show you a room, feed you, let you bathe, and let you get a good night’s rest. In the morning I’ll have one of the girls bring you something of James’ to wear and we can talk over breakfast.”

That evening, Remus discovered that heaven could be found on earth in a claw–footed tub filled with hot water and sweet–scented bath oils. His stomach was full of unfamiliar but delicious food and the water seemed to pull out every ache and pain, leaving him boneless, very like a fat cat sleeping in a sunny window.

Once Remus was dried and dressed in a borrowed shift for sleeping in, he crawled into the large four–poster bed and buried himself in silk sheets and down comforters. It was the best night’s sleep he’d had since he was ten years old.

*

As promised, the next morning a willowy brunette delivered clothes, which, once donned, proved to be a bit large for his frame. The brunette, Emmeline, helped him into his clothes, blithely brushing off his protestations. She pushed him into a mirror and Remus forgot all about her. He had not seen himself since he was ten. He knew on some level that he must have changed, but the image he had for himself was still of that ten year old boy.

Stepping closer, he regarded himself; light brown hair with matching eyes, pale scarring across his face from years aboard a cruel ship. He was, he could say, handsome in a way, if a little on the plain side. His frame was also quite slight, not muscular at all – starved even, and he looked to be made up of corners. It was hard to look away; he wanted to reacquaint himself with this stranger in the mirror, but Emmeline reminded him he had an appointment to keep before slipping out of his room.

When he stepped out into the hall, closing the door behind him quietly so he wouldn’t disturb the other guests, it was to find Sirius also exiting the opposite room. The tension in the air between them crackled as they regarded each other, both men frozen in place, neither knowing what to do. Remus couldn’t force breath into his lungs as he remembered their kiss in the crow’s nest, and the way Sirius had fled.

“M’rning,” murmured Sirius, glancing down the hall, clearly looking for the nearest escape.

“I won’t tell,” offered Remus, hoping to buy just a minute or two of Sirius’ company. “I never tell. It’s all right, you know.”

“Oh,” was the reply, followed by more awkward silence.

“Well,” said Remus, after a full minute. “I guess I better–”

“I liked it,” interrupted Sirius. “A lot, but I can’t.”

“There’s no one here right now,” said Remus. “We’re alone and you could–”

Sirius was across to him in one stride, the next moment they were kissing, only this time there was nothing tentative about it. Remus felt like he had just won a little victory, because no one had ever wanted him like Sirius did; it was amazing and he felt powerful. He let Sirius push him up against the wall and encouraged the other’s hands to roam by placing one on his hip. So consumed were they that when another door opened, neither man paid it any attention.

“Well, well, well,” came an oily voice. “So the great Captain Black is a sodomite. Isn’t that marvelous.”

Sirius sprang away from Remus like he was molten and drew his sword. Remus’ eyes widened at this overreaction.

“You pathetic, sniveling coward,” snarled Sirius. “Still using Lily’s girls to keep close to her; she’s never going to have you.”

The other, a sallow–skinned, lank–haired, large–nosed man, drew his own sword and the both of them lunged, blades meeting with a terrific clang of metal. This was not the playful sparring he had witnessed between James and Sirius; these two crossed swords with an intensity that promised death if they could manage it.

Several other doors opened over the commotion and then there was shouting for help. Sirius and his opponent ignored them entirely, fighting like mad dogs in the small space. Each of them claimed small victories, both of their shirts streaming with blood from shallow sword cuts. They were skilled enough to avoid large injuries, but the close quarters were a tight fit.

“What the bloody hell is this!”

Remus startled at the loud, angry feminine voice and turned to see Lily standing at the top of the stairs, absolutely livid. She stalked forward, her eyes blazing, and the two fighters broke apart. James followed a moment later, his eyes darting between Sirius and Severus.

“Who started this?” she demanded, looking around for witnesses. The two men involved instantly began hurling invectives and accusations at one another.

“Shut up! The both of you!” shouted James, drawing his own sword and giving silent instructions to his men with hand gestures. Swords were drawn all around and it wasn’t lost on Remus that none of the men moved on Sirius, only Severus, crowding closer, menacing.

“Did anyone see what happened?” she persisted. “Out with it, right now.”

Remus quietly cleared his throat. “That man there, he started it,” he said, pointing at the man Sirius had been fighting with. To his way of thinking, the man had started it, calling Sirius “sodomite” for no good reason.

“Severus…” said Lily, and she sounded defeated. “I told you, one more incident with Sirius and I would have to ban you from the _Stag and Doe_.”

“No, it wasn’t me!” insisted Severus, pointing a shaking finger at Remus. “I don’t know who that liar is, but Black was very nearly having relations in the hallway with him. I only stated the obvious.”

Lily pursed her lips. “This is a brothel, Severus. You’ll find that sort of activity commonplace here.”

“But he’s a man! He’s not one of your girls!”

“I’m sorry, Severus,” said Lily, and she really sounded it. “You have to leave and you aren’t welcome back.”

“No, Lily, please,” begged Severus.

“Oh, quit your sniveling and get out,” said Sirius, sneering.

“Not a word, Black!” said Lily, rounding on him.

Severus drew himself up, lifting his chin just a little and stalked toward Remus. He pushed Remus into the wall, bringing their faces close. “You’ll pay for this!”

Sirius was on Severus in an instant, throwing him off. “Don’t you lay a hand on him!”

Severus sneered at Sirius and then at Remus. He pulled himself together once more, gave a last mourning look at Lily, and then left. Remus breathed a quiet sigh of relief, glad to have the altercation at its end.

“Excitement’s over,” said James to the group. “Carry on, lads.”

“I’m going to the ship,” snarled Sirius, and then he was gone, his heavy steps on the stairs as he pounded away.

“I’m sorry you got drawn into that, Remus,” said Lily, laying a hand on his arm. “Won’t you join me for breakfast?”

*

Not since he was a boy had Remus enjoyed the heavenly taste of fried eggs, thick, salty bacon and fresh hot rolls with preserves and warm butter. There was also something new for his consideration, something Remus had never seen before. The rich smell of the dark liquid was inviting. Lily encouraged him to try it with a little sugar and fresh milk.

“Now then,” said Lily while Remus tucked in to his breakfast. “I’m going to be blunt with you Remus. I heard a lot of interesting things about you last night.”

Remus paused, mouth full of succulent bacon. He raised an eyebrow at Lily fearing the worst.

“Your friend Peter was very helpful,” she supplied, lips quirked in a slight smirk. “He spent the night with my Hestia, James’ treat – he does try to be good to his men, and he told her all sorts of juicy things about you.”

“That traitor,” spluttered Remus after swallowing. “He’s a liar, he’s–”

“Relax, Remus,” said Lily, patting his hand. “Do I strike you as a woman to judge such things? I own a brothel; I used to work myself before James set me up here. The thing is, Remus, you’ve been bartering with your body for some time now, and while I can put you in touch with other kinds of work, my offer is really the best one. I take good care of my girls, and they exact a high price because they are well–maintained and skilled at what they do. I won’t let just anyone touch one of my ladies, and they all fetch a good amount for their services. So, what I’m offering, Remus, what I want you to consider, is working for me.”

“As a whore?” said Remus, so quiet and shameful he only hoped that Lily caught it.

“I don’t really care for that word,” said Lily, “but yes. A well–treated one, though. You would live here and work out of your room, but you would lack for nothing. I’ll take you to the tailor and clothe you, feed you, house you, and pay you. My girls are happy, and if a man mistreats them, that man is banned and I send James’ boys out to deal with him.”

Miserable, Remus shoved another piece of bacon in his mouth so that he could think and not have to respond. This was not what he wanted, but being nearly destitute, having no home, and no means to feed or house himself all forced him to consider Lily’s offer. Life under Lily’s care looked plush, comfortable and clean. It was a lot to be offered and given his lack of other prospects, too much to turn down. Once again, Remus felt a pang in his heart, hoping that his parents, wherever they were, would understand and forgive him.

“All right,” he said quietly.

“It’s not so bad,” said Lily kindly. “Also, it won’t be common knowledge like it is with the girls. When a man asks for a man, he requires discretion. So, I’m hiring you as a sort of peace–keeper, a male figure to have around when the boys are off looting the Spanish Main.”

“Oh, I see,” replied Remus, saying each word carefully. That wasn’t so bad, and he was well used to keeping the secrets of other men.

“The only exception to that is if you work in the Marauder’s Den. That is a private parlor I keep upstairs, and there is only one rule, well, no, two rules. There is no violence tolerated and what happens in the Den, stays in the Den. These boys can get – well, creative at times up there. It’s more than just you with a customer, you’re on display, performing publicly while the men drink and gamble.”

“Do I have to work in the Den?”

“No, not at all – not all of my girls do. The Den is really more of a club, invitation only, and I never let my newer girls in there. I just wanted you to know about it because one of your customers might ask for you.”

“I don’t think that’s something I’m interested in,” said Remus quietly. “I rather like the idea of my work, my true work, being kept –– private.”

“Certainly,” replied Lily. “As I said, my newer girls, or in your case boys, are never allowed up there until I get feel for how they work and to give them time to adjust. I will, of course, let you know about any requests, but you are always free to turn them down. Now, on to more mundane matters. There is a common area where the girls like to gather and chatter, spend time together, form friendships and the like. No customers are ever allowed in there, though you will on occasion see James. I like to read and that is where I keep my library, small though it may be.”

“You have books?” asked Remus, brightening a little.

“And you are welcome to them,” said Lily, smiling. “When you’re hungry just come into the tavern and order; the girls eat free, of course, and obviously that includes you. Now, for today, I want you to look around, meet the girls, talk to them about how things work here. They really are friendly, though I should warn you they have a tendency to fall in and out of love with each other, and you might find yourself the object of their attention.”

“I don’t really–”

“I know,” said Lily. “It won’t matter. They’re an incestuous lot and will no doubt try to compete with each other for your affection.”

“I think I’ll just look around and then retire with a few books,” said Remus, eager to avoid all of that.

“Good plan,” said Lily. “Tomorrow we’ll go to the tailor and then I’ll talk with you about your first customer.”

“You’ve already got a customer for me?”

Lily smiled. “There is a man, a nice man, a gentleman, who has been asking for a boy for months. There is also a couple, two men, privateers like James, who want a young, pretty boy to play with. There’s also a rich widow–”

“Tell me about the first one,” said Remus, interrupting. She then proceeded to tell Remus what the man wanted as his eyes grew larger around, saucer–like in his thin face.

*

After Lily left Remus to his own devices, he did as she suggested and explored the _Stag and Doe_. He found the common area she mentioned on the top floor of the four story building, the same floor his room was on. It was cozy, filled with bookshelves and couches, decorated in rich reds and gold. When he entered it was still early, and as such, empty, which came to Remus as a relief.

Life was changing too fast for Remus, setting a small gnawing fear to grind quietly in his mind, rubbing against other fears, older fears, from another time when things changed too quickly. He decided not to linger, because if this was the commons for Lily’s girls, then surely there would soon be girls to fill it. Remus knew next to nothing about women, save his mother, and the way these particular women had been described to him was vaguely frightening.

He selected three books and turned to leave, only to discover two girls loitering in the doorway, watching him curiously.

“You’re right, Emma,” said a blonde to the girl that had helped Remus dress that morning. “He is cute.”

“Be nice, Hestia,” admonished Emmeline. “Remus, this is Hestia, and she’s a tart so watch out.”

Remus blinked at them, having no idea how to respond to that as Hestia tittered and gave Emmeline a playful tap on the shoulder.

“Poor thing,” cooed Hestia. “He looks frightened of us.”

“Hestia,” said Emmeline wearily.

Hestia ignored her however and bounded forward and took Remus’ hand, pulling him into a couch with her, books and all. Remus looked back at Emmeline for help, but only got a resigned smile.

“You’re the first boy we’ve had here,” said Hestia, beaming at him. “Lily’s been looking for ages.”

“I – oh,” said Remus. What did one say to that?

“Is it true that Captain Black fancies you? He was so angry when that awful Captain Snape pushed you. All the girls are talking about it. I think you’d be very pretty together.”

“Um… well…” Remus fidgeted uncomfortably under the bubbly onslaught.

“I’m glad Captain Snape isn’t coming back,” she continued, undeterred by his obvious discomfort. “He’s always causing trouble and trying to get between James and Lily. She’s the only reason he came around - when she was working, before she met James, he was a regular of hers. He wanted her to stop, but he’s never been as successful as the Marauders. He could never have afforded this place for her.”

“The Marauders?” asked Remus.

“Silly isn’t it?” she replied, nodding and absently playing with the cuff on his sleeve. “I mean, they _are_ marauders, all of them, so why call yourselves ‘The Marauders’? I’ve never understood that. Basically, it started with James and Sirius. They left England together after Sirius left his family. They were best friends or something and when Sirius had to get away, James went with them. They’re both nobility, you know, not the typical pirate at all. So, anyway, they were good at it and eventually more captains joined them until now they have the biggest fleet in these waters.”

“Do you know Captain Black very well?” asked Remus in what he hoped was his most nonchalant tone.

“Me? No; I mean, he’s a good customer – he’s never been cruel or too weird. He’s actually a lot of fun, spends a lot of time in the Den. He’s hard to get close to, though. Some, you know, they tell you their life story, but him? Just jokes and booze and sex.”

“So you and Lily, you’re friends, then?” asked Remus, wanting to steer away from the idea of Hestia and Sirius having sex.

“We all are,” said Emmeline, quiet until now through all of Hestia’s chatter. “We look after our own. You’re really lucky getting to work for Lily, most aren’t as kind, but then most are men who never lived this life.”

“And now that’s you, too,” said Hestia brightly. “It’s not too bad, really, and Lily’s very fair.”

“Lily’s actually a really smart lady, you know,” said Emmeline. “Her parents came over from England to join one of the colonies, I don’t remember which one. Their ship was wrecked and Captain Snape rescued her, brought her here.”

“How awful,” said Remus sympathetically. “She must miss her family terribly.”

“Yeah, poor love,” said Hestia. “She tried a lot of ways to support herself. Captain Snape helped when he could, but he was gone on a long voyage – something went wrong and it took him a while to come back. She finally had no choice.”

“Why James, though?” asked Remus. “I mean, if she knew Captain Snape first.”

“Oh, well, that’s partly Snape’s fault,” said Emmeline. “See, there are pirates and then there are _pirates_. Snape kills when he doesn’t have to, because it’s more expedient, easier. James was different right from the start, killing only when he had to. Eventually it got back to Lily. Everything gets back to Lily.”

“She finally had enough when James and some of his captains got into a brawl with Captain Snape and the few that used to sail with him,” said Hestia. “In those days the Black Dog was the popular tavern for pirates, and they were all there. Lily tried to argue with James about Captain Snape and he said to her, he said, ‘Shut up, whore! I don’t need your help!’ That was it for Lily; to her this was a way to survive, and Captain Snape knew it and called her that anyway.”

“And James?”

“Well, Lily slept with whomever paid her, didn’t she?” said Hestia. “James kept her busy after successful raids and eventually bought her this place. His only requirement was that she stop working, so she did. I think they were falling in love all along, but love isn’t something you really allow yourself to consider in this business – at least not with customers.” She smiled at Emmeline who blushed and looked demurely away.

“That’s quite a story,” said Remus, catching the by–play and remembering what Lily said about the girls forming relationships. It was beautiful, this place, Port Royal, and hearing this story made him feel like he was in a place where anything was possible if you were lucky enough. Dangerous thoughts for someone in his position. Still, he was glad that Lily’s sad story had a happy ending.

“Sad for Captain Snape, though,” said Emmeline. “I think he really does care for her, but she’s never returned those feelings. She never slept with him except as a customer.”

Remus nodded and tucked the information away. He stayed in the commons with Hestia and Emmeline for a few hours, just talking and listening to their stories. Girls filtered through, coming and going, most staying for at least a brief chat and get–to–know–you. He had feared the molestation that Lily had warned about, but none of the girls troubled him for that. By the time he returned to his room, he was full of all the important gossip and even had a few new friends, or so he hoped.

*

The following morning after breakfast, Lily and Remus set out to visit the tailor. Coming up the walk to the tailor’s door, it opened and out stepped a tall, rather good–looking blond. He greeted Lily warmly and shook Remus’ hand. They talked for a moment, and Remus picked up that he was in textiles and also quite wealthy. Lily smiled knowingly throughout the whole interchange and invited the man to stop by the _Stag and Doe_. When he walked away, the man looked back once at Remus with a small smile which Remus returned. He was rather good–looking, after all, and a bit of a flirt.

When they entered the shop, a slight, short man with a shiny pate and small paunch walked out of a rear door, his quick, light steps propelling him over almost comically.

“Lily, Lily, Lily,” he trilled. “So, is this the Mr. Lupin you were telling me about yesterday?”

“Mr. Faraday,” said Lily warmly. “Yes, yes it is.” She kissed the man’s cheek and gave Remus a little push forward.

The tailor walked around Remus, looking him up and down, plucking at his clothes, adjusting them, the whole time tutting under his breath. Remus felt like a prize cow being evaluated for sale.

“Well, Lily, I’ll just need to get his measurements. I’ve a few things started that I can alter to fit him,” he said finally, frowning at James’ borrowed clothes.

“That sounds fine, Mr. Faraday,” said Lily. “I’ve a list of a few additional things I’d like for him as well.”

Lily handed him a list and the man looked it over, murmuring to himself about what she wanted. Then he took Remus’ measurements and once again Remus felt like he was being evaluated. The man’s touch was light but also lingering in certain areas, such as apex where his thigh met his body, almost intimate and rather disconcerting.

And then he was done, stepping lightly away like a bird fluttering up to light on a branch. He brought a few pieces out for Lily to consider, holding them each up to Remus and pointing out where he would let things out or take things in. They spoke for a moment, Lily and Mr. Faraday, discussing Remus’ wardrobe without ever asking for his input. Not that he had any input, really, but it was another reminder that in his whole life, the things he was allowed to really make choices about were few and far between.

“Ready, Remus?” asked Lily. He looked up and saw Mr. Faraday disappearing into the back once again. He nodded and let Lily take him by the arm, guiding him back out into the bright Caribbean sun.

*

“Do you think you’re ready for your first customer?” Lily had come in to Remus’ room to visit with him a few hours later. He’d spent the day mentally preparing himself for what he was to do, going over what Lily had detailed as his customer’s request.

“It’s… a little – unusual – isn’t it?”

“I’ve long since given up labeling things unusual,” said Lily. “It’s not too much, is it?”

Remus looked up, resolved. “No, it isn’t. I can do this, I’ve just never – I mean on board the ship it was all very quick, wasn’t it? Nothing near so, er…”

Lily nodded. “I imagine it was all quick wanks or sucks, wasn’t it?”

Remus looked at his shoes and blushed a little, nodding.

“If I told you that you had already met him, would that help?”

Remus looked up. “It might.”

“The man from the tailor shop this afternoon. See, that’s not so bad, is it?”

Remus thought back and remembered the flirtatious blond. That actually wasn’t bad at all.

“No, he was nice. Attractive.”

Lily blinked a little and then patted his hand. “Well, good, then. I’ll just leave you to prepare. He’ll be up in about a half an hour.”

As soon as Lily left, Remus jumped in front of the mirror, straightening his clothes a bit and then ran a brush through his hair. The powder blue waistcoat and white silk undershirt were both a bit too large, hanging a little from his thin frame, but were otherwise acceptable. Behind a canvas screen in his room sat a chamber pot and a shallow basin. He ducked around it and rinsed his mouth with the solution he had brought with him, and then spat into the basin, smelling his breath on his hand.

Satisfied, he hastily straightened his bed, thinking back to the blond, tall and muscular with clear blue eyes. It came as little surprise to Remus that this man, obviously important in the community and wealthy as well, needed to hide his taste for men. His request, what he wanted Remus to do, was nothing Remus had any experience with, but he could already feel his libido responding to the thought of spending time alone with him. He wanted very much to please this beautiful man and keep his secrets. It didn’t hurt that it served as a distraction to avoid thinking about another gorgeous man.

He hadn’t seen Sirius since the altercation with Severus. The pirates had been gearing up for a raid and were all occupied with their ships and loading provisions. Remus had almost gone to the docks to see if he could catch a glimpse of him, but had opted to spend some time visiting with the girls instead. That way led only to heartache, and since he was done with sailing, and Sirius was not, it only made sense.

When the light, melodic knock came at the door, Remus stilled for a moment and went over Lily’s instructions in his mind. He could do this, he could do this, he could do this. He’d been doing similar things since he was seventeen; this just wasn’t that different, not really.

When Remus opened the door, looking up expecting to find a smiling blond–haired, blue–eyed beauty; all he found was empty space.

“Good evening, Mr. Lupin,” came a voice from below his chin line. Remus looked down at the shining pate of the little tailor he had met that afternoon. He had to catch himself lest his disappointment show on his face.

“Mr. Faraday,” he said, not completely keeping the surprise out of his voice.

“You _were_ expecting me?” asked the man, a little uncertainly.

Remus remembered himself and forced a smile. He opened the door wider so the man could enter. “Of course,” he replied, not as pleasantly as he would have liked. “Come in and make yourself comfortable.”

Mr. Faraday flitted through the door, calling to mind a fluttering bird once again. He landed lightly on the bed and smiled at Remus. After closing the door, Remus stared at it for a moment, and then turned around with a pleasant smile affixed to his face.

When they were done, Remus wanted nothing more than to shove the man out the door. “That was very enjoyable, Remus, thank you,” said Mr. Faraday. “I think you’re going to work out fine, once you relax a little and get comfortable with satisfying fantasies and not just base needs. There is a reason Port Royal has been called the Sodom of the New World. Anyone can get anything here – even pretty young men to come on their face.”

Remus didn’t want to hear another word about it; he wanted the man gone. Mr. Faraday wasn’t being deliberately unkind, but as he stood to leave, dropping a sack of coins on the bed, Remus had to suppress the urge to shove him out the door. Once he was finally gone, Remus curled into a ball on his bed, pulled one of Lily’s books into his lap, forcing his mind away from any thought of Mr. Faraday, his payment, or his mention of seeing Remus again next week.

*

The next morning the tavern was filled with exuberant pirates gearing up for a raid. They were low on treasure and their vices demanded that they set out to sea once again. That morning, the _Stag and Doe_ was closed to her usual patrons, catering only to The Marauders, and of course Lily’s stable of prostitutes. Remus watched everything, sitting quietly by himself as the captains barked out orders and the girls flirted, giving the men ample incentive to plunder the riches of the Spanish Main.

Eventually only the captains remained, the other pirates that served under them having gone to prepare the ships to set sail. The captains were finalizing their plans, and with a little sigh, Remus watched Sirius. He was in fine form that morning, jostling and joking and generally behaving like an exuberant puppy. If puppies carried swords and looted for a living, that is.

Remus knew he was torturing himself, but he was still repressing the events of the night before. James looked over and caught Remus watching Sirius, and gave Remus a wide grin. Remus flushed and looked back down at his now empty plate of food.

“So, Remus,” said James loudly, getting everyone’s attention. “Sure you don’t want to come with us?”

Sirius looked intently at Remus, rising a little out of his chair. Remus tried to focus on James and not on the hopeful look on Sirius’ face.

“Is that such a good idea, James?” asked the peg–legged Moody. “Might want to them let shag themselves stupid before putting a distraction like Remus there on Sirius’ boat.”

There was a rumble of laughter from the other pirates. Remus couldn’t believe they were being so open about Sirius’ affection until it hit him that there was a slightly different culture among the captains. These were all men who answered to no one but each other so long as they continued to be successful at what they did.

“Oi!” snarled Sirius, but Remus could see there was no heat behind it. Didn’t change anything, he still wasn’t stepping foot on a ship if he could help it.”

“I’ll just keep an eye on the women, how about,” countered Remus.

“Since when has Lily needed anyone looking after her,” grumbled Sirius. Remus blinked; it was hitting close to the truth, that.

“Aye,” said Moody’s partner Shacklebolt. “I’d wager she does not actually need that one’s help at all. Bit skinny and scrawny, pretty though.”

James shot a sharp look at Sirius, but it was too late. The wheels were already turning. Sirius stalked over to Remus, a squall brewing in his eyes.

“You _work_ for Lily?” he demanded. “She finally got her fucking rent boy and it’s _you_!”

What was he supposed to say? Sirius knew what he had done aboard the _Phoenix Rising_, and as much as might like to spit out a retort at the man, Sirius was a pirate and a hot–headed one at that. Denial was stupid, so Remus just looked away.

“You’d rather do _that_ than sail with me, is that it?”

Remus braved the storm in Sirius’ eyes and looked up at him. “Yes,” he replied quietly. At that Sirius spun on his booted heel, pushing over a table in his rage.

“That got his attention,” said James, chuckling quietly. “Won’t be long now, Remus, before he just takes you hostage on that boat of his. I’m sure in the good captain’s quarters he can give you a few dozen reasons to love the sea.”

James might not have understood the sharp cruelty of those words, Remus didn’t know, but the thought of being a hostage on another ship chilled him to the bone. In contrast, the other captains found James quite hilarious, and as Remus exited, their low laughter pushed him out of the tavern and up to his room.

*

It was a week before the sail of Sirius’ ship broke the horizon. Lily had kept him busy with customers and breathed not a word about the row with Sirius. In that week, he had learned from Hestia, the inveterate gossip, that James had mentioned to Moody and Shacklebolt the precise capacity in which Remus worked for Lily. Remus wanted Lily to be furious with James, but from what he could tell, though he didn’t know her that well, this didn’t seem to be the case.

Along with providing anyone who would listen with an ample supply of salacious news, Hestia tittered on about how lovely handsome Captain Black would be with Remus. She and the other girls were enamored of the relationship between Moody and Shacklebolt, and soon Hestia had them all convinced that it would be splendid if Remus and Sirius went the same way.

Which, from where Remus sat, was ridiculous, a farcical daydream. None of them seemed to realize that the obstacle standing in the way to true love and harmony wasn’t just ‘silly Captain Black’ who needed to ‘get over himself.’ Remus was a prostitute, a fact that Sirius found extremely objectionable, not that Remus didn’t understand. Port Royal might be the Sodom of the New World as Mr. Faraday liked to say, but a whore was a whore, and he knew it. He didn’t indulge their fantasies, made no admissions of his feelings, however bloody obvious they might be. Nor did he explain that Sirius wanted a fellow pirate, a man to sail and plunder with, and that if he could help it, Remus would never again serve aboard a ship.

Not that Hestia needed him to blabber on; she was fine under her own power.

That afternoon, with the Marauders returned, there was a festival air among the girls as they readied themselves for the night. More than once his quiet was intruded upon as one of them burst into his room asking for ‘a man’s eye’ on their wardrobe.

He had Mr. Faraday that night, who had opted to conduct their business at his shop to steer clear of boisterous, drunken pirates. As he left to meet the man, he passed by the door to the Den, the loud barking laugh of Sirius sliding under the door to his ears. Remus could well imagine what was going on behind that door, and really, he’d just as soon not entertain such thoughts.

On the returning walk home, Remus took an alley to avoid as much of the city’s merry–making as possible. Pirates in town laden with gold was a cause for celebration as tavern owners got richer off the backs of whomever the pirates had looted. The alley was empty, save for a lone cat wailing its love into the night. He was almost to the main thoroughfare when he heard the footfalls behind him. He wasn’t alarmed, only curious when he turned his head to look. A figure that seemed to be one with the night was moving toward him, the metal of a drawn sword gleaming in the light of the nearly full moon. Remus bolted, turning onto the street and then ducked into the _Stag and Doe_, fleeing up the stairs to the safety of his room, breathing heavily and drunk on adrenaline.

He hadn’t been able to identify his would be attacker, but it could have been almost anyone. Only one person had threatened him, however, and he had to wonder how serious Severus was about making good on his promise. He considered telling Lily about it, but he was concerned that would only bring him more trouble, so he put that thought aside and decided instead to be more careful. If he hadn’t taken the alley, he would have been in plain view and that was likely the opportunity that Severus had been waiting for, if it was indeed him.

For the rest of the night, he decided to stay in his room and read; Hestia, however, had other ideas. Remus hadn’t even had a chance to toe off his shoes when the knock came. He opened the door to find Hestia along with Emmeline grinning at him. They didn’t wait for him to invite them in, simply pushing their way through and making themselves comfortable on his bed. Quite frankly, he was surprised to see them, and said as much.

“We just wanted to see how you were,” said Emmeline, which only made Remus suspicious. “And to share something with you.”

“Have you ever smoked hashish, Remus?” questioned Hestia. In her fingers was a long, dark pipe made of mahogany wood.

“No, I haven’t,” he replied, eyeing the pipe curiously. “But I have heard of it.”

“It’s marvelous,” cooed Hestia. “Do you want to try some?”

Remus wasn’t entirely sure that he did, but in the Den there was money to be made but here was Hestia and Emmeline taking time out of their busy night to bring him hashish.

“Why aren’t you two in the Den?” he asked, avoiding the question.

“We just needed a break,” said Emmeline. “How was Mr. Faraday?”

“He was fine,” replied Remus curtly. He hated talking about his clients. He suspected that Emmeline’s hurt look was mostly for his benefit, but it made him feel bad just the same. “Sorry. How do you…?”

“Watch me,” said Hestia. He watched her light the pipe and take a pull off the end.

“It’s your first time, so don’t take too much,” said Emmeline taking the lit pipe from Hestia. She pulled Remus to sit on the bed beside her and handed the pipe to him. “Just a quick pull and hold it in.”

Remus’ first inhale on the pipe sent him into a coughing fit. Hestia and Emmeline laughed and encouraged him to try again. The second time was easier, the smoke was thick and sharp, or maybe just hot. He held the smoke as long as he could and then released it. He waited for “marvelous” to happen but he honestly didn’t feel anything. He took a second pull on the pipe and then a third. Still nothing.

“Maybe it doesn’t always work,” he suggested, handing the pipe back to Emmeline.

“Just give it a minute,” she said.

Remus felt a little uncomfortable with Hestia and Emmeline watching him so very carefully, as though any moment he would turn into something else. To alleviate the tension he felt, he stood, and the world suddenly took on a different quality altogether. He sat back down immediately, a pleasant, warm giddiness sliding along his nerves.

“Goodness,” he said, and grinned. Marvelous was a very apt descriptor, he decided, and was going to share this with the girls. Just as he opened his mouth to share, he found he had quite forgotten what he was going to say and grinned foolishly.

Beside him, he heard Hestia and Emmeline laughing and then Remus was laughing too, but he had no idea why. He just felt wonderful and light, like he could step on clouds and float away. He was made of sea foam, and the rhythm of the ocean swayed a pleasant to and fro in his mind.

“Come with us,” murmured Emmeline, low in his ear. She took his hand, and Remus rose with her, desiring nothing more than to go along with all of her wonderful plans. Emmeline, he decided, was a bloody genius.

When Hestia, walking beside, laughed and grinned at him, he realized he must have said that out loud. He grinned and tipped back his head, laughing with her, and after a moment, realized he didn’t know why he was laughing and laughed all the harder for it.

He was led out of his room and down the hall. He could hear a familiar laugh as they neared the door to the Den.

“Sirius,” he said, and then grinned.

Emmeline said something low to Hestia that Remus didn’t catch and then opened the door. Remus stepped eagerly through to a room filled with smoke and loud laughter. He had imagined what went on in the Den, things like wild orgies with still wilder men, all intertwined in a mess of mouths and hands, cunts and cocks. What he found, his mind thickened on hashish, was slightly different.

The Den was large, though not as large as the tavern, with a small bar to provide its denizens with a steady supply of liquor. Like the tavern, there were tables around which were large chairs, more suited in size and shape to a drawing room than a dining hall. Some in the Den were merely playing cards and laughing loudly, attended solicitously by one of Lily’s girls. Others had given up all pretences and had a girl grinding in their lap.

Remus looked around the room for familiar faces. It seemed that this evening was mostly a party for the The Marauder captains with one exception - there was no James or Lily anywhere. When his gaze landed on Sirius, it was to find the man was already staring at Remus with wide eyes.

“Oh, girls, well done,” said Captain Moody. “You’ve brought forth the recalcitrant Mr. Lupin.”

Hestia and Emmeline guided Remus over to Moody and his partner Shacklebolt, though his eyes still hadn’t left Sirius. That was a bit of a mistake, as it caused him to trip over his feet and land in Shacklebolt’s lap. He was going to hop up and apologize, because a even stoned Remus had manners, but Shacklebolt chuckled low in his ear and pulled Remus closer, situating him more comfortably. He looked between the two men and watched as a small purse was pulled out of Moody’s waistcoat and handed to Emmeline.

“There’s some of that for you, too,” said Shacklebolt in Remus’ ear. “We’re going to play with you a bit and show old Captain Sirius what he’s missing.”

Remus looked back to Sirius, the delightful edge of his high abated by the turn of events. This was a bit disappointing. Not that Shacklebolt was hard to look at - far from it, with a solid body and thick arms that felt wonderful around him, his best looking trick so far. But Sirius’ reaction was a let down, now no longer gazing at Remus with hungry eyes. Now he was focused on his card game, and stayed focused, though a flush had crept up from his neck and his jaw was set and tight.

Moody and Shacklebolt were skilled with their hands and mouths, kissing Remus’ neck, fondling his crotch. Through it all, Remus watched Sirius, willing Sirius to watch Moody and Shacklebolt touch him as he gave into the performance. But Sirius was resolute to the very end, even going so far as to demand a girl to service him.

When Remus cried out his completion, still clothed and eyes glued on Sirius, he knew that Sirius wasn’t as oblivious as he seemed. Though it was Marlene’s mouth around Sirius’ cock, when Remus came, Sirius’ head tipped back, hips pumping into Marlene’s mouth.

*

The next morning, Remus felt dreadful. Remembering events from the previous night didn’t help matters. Sirius might be jealous, but he wasn’t prepared to fight his fellow captains over a whore. Remus told himself it didn’t hurt; besides, if Sirius had gotten belligerent, the night wouldn’t have ended satisfactorily.

Looking back, he realized that Moody and Shacklebolt had been baiting Sirius, trying to see if they could get him to bite. Well, now they knew, didn’t they? All Sirius had done was pay more attention to his game of chance, and later, Marlene sucking his cock.

Truthfully, that _had_ hurt – watching Sirius enjoy her mouth. So what, though? It wasn’t as though hurting had ever made a bad thing better. Best to just ignore the pain; dwelling on it served no purpose. Neither was thinking about it going to make his head stop aching.

Remus climbed out of bed, freshened up behind his screen and then got dressed. Mr. Faraday might not be his favorite customer, not that he really had one, but the man was an excellent tailor. The clothes he had sent over fit Remus perfectly and were the finest things he had ever owned.

When he entered the tavern, he found it to be empty save for one person, his mate Peter, smiling and waving him over.

“Morning, mate,” chirped Peter, far too chipper this early in the morning. “I hoped I’d run into you.”

Remus gave him a tired smile as he sat. Bessie the cook brought over a plate of bacon and eggs and a fresh basket of rolls. Remus smiled up at her and found a quiet moment of relief in being predictable.

“You like it here?” asked Peter before sipping his coffee.

Remus frowned. It was comfortable, he was never mistreated, but as much as he would love to have the girl’s blasé attitude, he couldn’t quite muster it. He was a simple country boy at heart, a man with old–fashioned values caught up in something that wasn’t meant for him. When his life had depended on it, he could justify it, but that justification was gone. A soft bed, good food, nice clothes, all of it, wasn’t the same as keeping the lash from your bare skin, or worse.

“Yeah, I like looking after the girls,” he replied, keeping his thoughts to himself. It wasn’t as though he was going to change anything.

“Bet they’re all safe as house with you around,” teased Peter, grinning at Remus before stuffing some bacon in his mouth.

Remus laughed. It was true enough, wasn’t it? He’d not even really had to do much in the way of rebuffing any of the girls. As a collective they were waiting for Remus and Sirius to quit being silly and shag already. Even Marlene had seemed a trifle guilty whilst sucking Sirius’ cock, which was just absurd.

It amused Remus that they had all fallen in platonic love with him and wanted him to have his happily ever after. Hestia and Marlene were the most persistent and the most ruthless, but he couldn’t bring himself to rouse any sense of anger. They meant well, and after ten years of no one ever meaning him well, he’d take it, whatever it happened to be.

“I suppose that’s true; perhaps that’s why she hired me,” suggested Remus. It was a relief to know that Peter didn’t know what his true occupation was.

Captains, generally speaking, would like to remain as such. Their promotion to the position was democratic enough, although in James and Sirius’ case they had started out as privateers with ships bought with private money. They were the exception, not the rule, and had adjusted well enough to the rules of the pirating game. Letters of Marque and a close enough relationship to the crown to obtain more for whatever captain worked with them had helped them to forge a niche here. That said, the demotion process was equally democratic and often a death sentence as well. So the captains kept a culture unto themselves, or at least they did in this outfit. They wouldn’t expose Sirius to his men, though they did take pleasure in teasing and cajoling, all above the awareness of the crew.

“Smart woman, that Lily,” said Peter. “She’s the only one of these girls good enough for James.”

Remus lifted his cup of coffee to his lips to hide his smile. Peter did so love his captain.

“Mhm,” agreed Remus. He hadn’t decided if the relationship, or rather business relationship between James and Lily was parasitic or symbiotic. After all, it was her tavern and brothel where his pirates dropped the bulk of their treasure. But then, he had bought the place for her and she did a lot to cater to his men. Remus did like Lily, quite a lot, and thought she was a savvy businesswoman. Ahead of her time, really.

“How about we walk down to the harbor?” said Peter when he’d finished his breakfast. “I haven’t seen you for a while.”

Remus agreed, and so the two of them left a few minutes later. Remus was glad he and Peter had remained friends, where he had lost touch with most of the others from Greyback‘s ship. Some had returned home to England; most were serving under one of the twenty–three captains that collectively called themselves the Marauders. Of them, only Peter had remained his friend as life’s current carried them on different routes.

Peter had come aboard the _Phoenix Rising_ two years after Remus and before the heavy influx of names he never learned. They were survivors of something, and though it was subtle, there was an acknowledgment of that in the simple act of friendship. In some ways, Remus regarded Peter as his only family, the last person standing in his world that could be proud of him. He wasn’t about to spoil that by telling Peter he was a whore.

“Can I tell you something?” asked Remus. Rows and rows of skeletal masts towered in the distance where the fleet was moored. “I’m in love with him, I think.” Peter laughed and Remus smiled, glad that he didn’t have to clarify.

“Oh, I think I knew that,” said Peter, smiling, but then turned a somber face on Remus. “I’m sorry, you know – that it isn’t different for you, that he doesn’t want something like Captain Moody has with his quartermaster.”

“They’re both sailing men,” said Remus quietly.

Peter scoffed. “So are you, Remus. You weren’t bad at it, just scared, we all were. Your mistakes were never as bad as you thought. It’s just, Greyback, well–”

“Yeah,” agreed Remus. Greyback. Now hopefully rotting in the belly of a shark. “Doesn’t matter, though does it? He doesn’t have a taste for men.” Remus was good at keeping the secrets of other men.

“Hestia says different, you know,” offered Peter. “She thinks highly of you, and you’re bloody obvious. I think it’s just wishful thinking. Especially since she says it’s a big secret and I’m not to tell anyone.”

Peter, however, couldn’t keep a secret if his life depended on it.

“Hestia is a gossip,” said Remus. “Sweet girl, really, means well, but she sees a relationship where there is only heartache possible - my heartache, to be specific.”

A breeze picked up speed between the towering craft, bringing with it the smell of the ocean. Remus breathed deep, surprising himself with having missed that heavy, salty scent. It dissipated somewhat in town, competing for dominance with the smell of food, spilt liquor and human industry. In the _Stag and Doe_, the softer, more feminine essences so popular with the girls drowned the sea out almost entirely.

As they drew nearer still, they could see that most of the ships were vacated of their crew - all save one. It was farther down the docks, and Remus couldn’t tell if the men belonged with one of the captains that Sirius and James sailed with. He assumed that they must when several pointed in their direction.

“Is it very much different?” asked Remus. “Sailing with James, I mean.”

Peter’s face brightened like the sun, and turned to walk backwards, gesturing wildly with his hands. “Completely! It’s an adventure, Remus! There’s just no comparison, really. You have to work, of course, but the raids are… well, almost too easy.”

Down the way, several men spilled onto the deck. As they neared, Remus couldn’t identify any of them, which was odd, because most of the Marauder’s crew had come through the _Stag and Doe_ at least once. He dismissed it, however; perhaps these pirates preferred to stay close to their ship.

“Too easy? Don’t they put up a fight?” Remus looked up in time to see the men drawing swords and picking up their pace. “Peter, do you know those men?”

Peter turned to look and blanched. “Remus! Run!”

Remus realized too late these must be Snape’s men come to collect him. He struck out but wasn’t quick enough. The men overtook him, easily pushing Peter out of the way and to the ground. His hands were pulled behind his back, and a sack was pulled over his head. The last thing he saw was Peter scrambling to his feet and running back toward town.

*

For the second time in Remus’ life he was kidnapped and brought on board a ship. No one touched him while they got underway, likely concerned with Peter running back to James. Remus knew Sirius and James wouldn’t make it in time, though. He just hoped it wouldn’t hurt too much, but that seemed unlikely.

Despite the bag over his head, Remus knew everything that was happening around him, knew the moment the wind filled the sails by the way the ship lurched. He could tell they were fighting a current in an attempt to reach open water. It was comforting and familiar, the sea all around and under the craft, the gentle rock he hadn’t realized he missed.

He could also feel the current’s drag on the ship, despite which they made better time than the _Phoenix Rising_ ever had. They were speeding along at impressive clip, and part of him wished he could feel the wind on his face. For a few hours he was allowed to simply sit in darkness and contemplate his own death.

“So, you’re Black’s bitch, are you?” came a familiar voice. Remus knew the voice, knew it was Captain Snape hoping for a rise. Remus was disinclined to give the man any additional reasons to hurt him so he just stayed quiet.

“I asked you a question,” snarled Snape, yanking the bag off of Remus’ head. He was crouched low, close to Remus, and peering at him nastily.

“Make it quick,” asked Remus quietly. “Please, just make it quick.”

Snape got to his feet. “I don’t think so. You see, for the past hour we’ve been spotting the flag of what appears to be a merchant, which may very well be true, but until I know for certain, I’m keeping you alive for insurance. If Black does come after me, I want a little leverage.”

“We’re sailing East, against the current,” said Remus. He didn’t want to talk about Sirius, didn’t want to think about the life he was having to give up. It might not have been everything he he’d hoped for, but it had had its moments.

“There is a current that flows between the continents, close to the equator. Once we leave these islands I am going to use it to cross to Africa,” replied Snape. “Thanks to you, I’m leaving these waters, at least temporarily. There I’ll make my fortune on the Barbary Coast. Once I’m richer than Potter and can offer Lily wealth beyond her imaginings, she’ll leave him for me.”

“Sail, ho!” called out one of Snape’s men. “It’s another merchant ship, Captain! Different flag this time and bearing east of the last one.”

Snape smiled viciously at Remus. “You know, I do believe it is your beloved and his band of ruffians. No matter, they won’t catch us in time.”

Remus thought it was a bit rich, Snape calling Sirius and James ruffians, but he kept his mouth shut and instead focused on what he had learned. He had a picture in his mind, two sails, the ships of which stayed beyond the horizon to avoid being identified - two ships that also kept their distance from each other. Which struck him as odd – why would they allow Snape to see them unless they wanted to give him a sense of ease in being able to escape? They had not allowed Greyback to get a single sight of them.

For all that Snape was full of bravado, Remus felt the ship turn north, losing some of the drag as they ran across the current instead of against it. It wasn’t a heavy current, that much he had already ascertained, just something that ran between the islands, or perhaps the islands and a continent; South America? They were close, he knew, so perhaps that was it.

He had, quite honestly, expected to be beaten and thrown overboard. He wasn’t sure how long his usefulness would hold out. Perhaps only until they cleared these islands for deep water.

An hour later the watch called out the sighting of another flag, this time with considerably more urgency. “Captain! Another ship, full sail and flying a red flag!”

“What the devil are they doing?” snarled Snape. Remus watch as the man pulled out a spyglass, wishing he could stand and see what was happening. “Damn, damn, damn.”

Snape shouted orders, a note of panic in his voice, or so Remus thought. The ship was turned back into the current, heading more in an easterly direction once again, listing portside so hard Remus was rolled and forced to his feet. One look aft told him why Snape was turning again. There were three ships in pursuit, in full sail, all flying the red flag. They were spaced so that Snape was forced to run back toward the islands in order to escape. But from their formation Remus suspected there was more to this.

“Oh buggering fuck,” hissed the watch. “Captain! Look astern!”

Remus turned his head, his breath catching in his throat. There, spread out in front of them was the rest of the Marauder’s fleet; twenty ships in full sail, twenty ships flying the red flag, twenty ships promising Snape death if they could manage it.

Snape screamed orders, turning the wheel hard. It would slow them down, but it was clearly a better option to run from twenty than to run from three. The ship groaned beneath them, the mast quivering with the strain, sails trembling as the crew fought to keep wind in them.

The three ships that had been chasing Snape into the trap turned into the current, closing the distance. Remus could see it was going to be a blood bath, and so could Snape. He grabbed Remus and hauled him to the highest point of the ship where he could be easily seen, a knife curving against his throat. Remus looked from one ship to the other, trying to find Sirius. Remus felt his heart leap into his throat at when he found the man, a red bandana around his head to keep his hair out of his face. He was at the helm, a spy glass held to his eye. Remus knew the moment Sirius found him because he pointed and started shouting orders Remus couldn’t hear, his face thunderous with rage.

It was obvious what Snape offered. He would return Remus in one piece in exchange for his own life. Sirius’ reaction was instantaneous. He shouted something else and the red flag was lowered. Snape moved swiftly, dragging Remus to the side of the ship before pushing him down into a small craft tied to the side. Snape’s ship hadn’t slowed a bit, still barreling forward as the crew prepared to free the little dinghy into the ocean. Something went wrong, however; one of the ropes slipped, and the boat capsized when it hit the water. He clung to the hull of the little boat, watching as Snape sped off.

Sirius brought his ship around, snarling orders at his crew, though Remus could only make out his tone, not the words. Frankly, he had bigger concerns than Sirius’ temper. Ropes were lowered and Remus was brought on board. He and Sirius regarded each other; his crew all standing around, gawking at Remus and that was when he realized not one of them knew why the entire fleet had been sent out for one man.

It was disappointing that nothing had changed, though Sirius would have to come up with some explanation, one that likely didn’t involve acknowledging his feelings for Remus. It was fine, though, really it was; he was alive and safe, and Sirius had cared enough for him to put himself in an awkward position.

“Thank you, Captain,” said Remus sincerely. He lowered his eyes to let Sirius know he understood as he stood on the deck and dripped.

“Oh, bollocks to that,” said Sirius and strode toward Remus. Sirius caught him around the head and pulled Remus forward, crashing his mouth to Remus’. Remus melted into Sirius, wet and all, pulling off his bandana so he could sink his fingers into soft black hair.

“Oh thank Christ and all the angels,” muttered one of the crew. “’Bout bloody time, don’t you think, Captain?”

“Ah ha,” laughed another, giving a short man with brown hair a shove. The short man didn‘t look happy and cast disparaging glances between Sirius and Remus. “Told you Cap’n was after this ‘un. Don’ mind this fuck, Cap’n, better a happy cap’n than what you’ve been since this ‘un showed up.” He pointed a finger at Remus, grinning toothily.

Sirius cast a dangerous eye at his crew. “Back to work with all of you!” he snarled, though something was off. If Remus wasn’t very much mistaken, there was a bit of relief there, and amusement as well.

Remus pressed closer to Sirius. “I’m all wet, Captain Black. Don’t suppose you’d want to get me out of these clothes?” Remus almost laughed when Sirius swallowed.

“Right,” said Sirius, and then louder to the crew, “I‘ll be in quarters looking after our guest.” The crew was still chortling and cat–calling as the door to the captain’s quarters was shut.

Sirius leaned against the door, his hair still attractively ruffled from Remus’ fingers running through it. Remus smiled a little and then plucked at his soaked clothes. They took a moment to regard each other and then as though by unanimous declaration moved as one, meeting in the middle with a smashing of one mouth to another. Sirius’ bed was small, but large enough for two, and they fell into it, Remus still wet. So urgent were they for each other that they just kissed and kissed and kissed, rutting against one another mindlessly until both shuddered and then stilled. They clung to each other for several long moments, neither saying a word until Sirius broke the silence.

“I thought I’d lost you. Peter came barging into all our rooms and told us what happened and I thought I would never see you again. I couldn’t bear it, Remus, I just couldn’t. I don’t know how this happened; I’ve only just met you but–”

Remus shushed Sirius with a kiss. “I love you, too.”

*

Hours later Remus awoke, alone, nude, wrapped in blankets on Sirius’ thin mattress. It was hardly a luxury, this rickety bed and these cramped quarters, and yet there was nowhere else he would rather be. He knew he had slept in Sirius’ arms, altogether twined in a heap of arms and legs, the pitch and sway of the sea better than any lullaby. He had missed it, though he didn’t think it possible.

Outside the little cabin, he could hear voices, Sirius’ voice above the others, a lightness to it Remus hadn’t heard before. It put a smile on his face and color in his cheeks and made him duck under the covers though there was no one to see him.

They hadn’t just slept the day away, of course. They had woken several times, hands and mouths greedy for each other, and then drifted off after, only to wake up and start over again. He was delightfully sore and more sated than he ever thought possible.

In between making love, Remus had learned Sirius’ story, why he had left home, what his hopes and dreams were, why he had become a pirate, eschewing a posh life in favor of one that let him be who he truly was. With the exception of his brother, Sirius had been estranged from his immediate family, too cruel for him to abide any longer, though the loss of his sibling had cut deep.

Somewhere during all of this, Remus had come to a decision. Sirius made no demands, had left the choice entirely up to Remus while making it perfectly clear what he wanted. Sirius wanted Remus to sail with him, to share in his adventures and his life, but he was also willing to compromise. Remus decided that would be unnecessary.

On a narrow table nailed into the floor were a cotton tunic and a pair of breaches. He pulled them on, though they proved a bit large, and opened the door, stepping barefoot out of Sirius’ quarters. Up on deck the man himself was joking with his crew, a most jovial pirate this. Remus paused halfway up the stairs and just watched for a moment, leaning against the railing, taking this man all in. His hair was pulled back in a bandana again, and he wore a tunic similar to the one Remus had on, though Sirius wore it open, exposing his chest that glowed in the failing light of a setting sun. It didn’t take long for one of Sirius’ crew to spot him, and the brief spell was broken. Sirius turned at a word from one of the crew and smiled widely at Remus.

Remus desperately wanted not to blush, but that was made impossible as several men posited lewd theories about what Remus and their captain had been getting up to. What he had done, all that he had done, had been in secret and in shame. There was a delicious freedom in living outside the confines of the law, a freedom a man could not find on land, only at sea with other like minded souls, with Sirius. So Remus lifted his chin despite the blush and smiled at Sirius and walked onto the deck, as an equal, as a man, as a pirate.


End file.
